Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
