Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
