I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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