After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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