i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
