im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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