do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Will exercising make me less horny?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
