ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
