she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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