i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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