I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm at about main and main street
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
