Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
