Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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