just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
