We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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