I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
