I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
if only i could text you this smell
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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