Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
