i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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