I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
