Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
