every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
