i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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