so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
