You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
