The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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