I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
