You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize