The maid of honor just puked.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
