and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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