It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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