I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
