Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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