my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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