I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
