how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
