Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize