Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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