Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
