do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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