Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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