I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just had sex bonerless
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
