Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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