READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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