my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize