How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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