shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she told me i tasted like america
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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