when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
