Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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