"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
