I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
