I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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