the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
