You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
