At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
