wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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