i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
