I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
