You can't motorboat a personality
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
