I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
