your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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