That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
farters have to be the big spoon...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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