The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
sarcasm needs its own font
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
