Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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