I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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