Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
