I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
