She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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