I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
