The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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