All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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