two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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