Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
