high people should be assigned attendants
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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