i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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