I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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